Husbandry and Fatherdom

Becoming a husband didn't completely change my life like I was told. What it did for me was give me someone with whom to share my life. It has been the best decision of I have ever made (except for my faith in Jesus, of course). Marrying Laurel has made it so that I get to wake up with my best friend every morning...and my best friend is really hot...even in the morning. It has given me someone to laugh with, to dream with, to cry with (it has happened once or twice), to figure out how to live this life to its full potential, and how to truly live for Christ and to further His Kingdom.

Becoming a father really did completely change my life, but not like I was told. It's not so much in the wording as it is in the tone. The way that it's typically expressed is in a very uplifting, sweet tone, "Having kids will change your life!" The reality is that it does change your life and it is "very good" (God). But what people don't tell you is that it changes your life because your life is no longer yours. You now have this little person hanging on you from 4 am to 9 pm (Ephraim doesn't sleep much...Jordan sleeps a little more than him). You have to take them into consideration every time you decide to leave the house or even take a shower. They won't let you out of their sight most of the day, so there is no more privacy...just try to go to the bathroom alone.

Don't misunderstand me. I love Ephraim and Jordan with everything that I am, and I know that they do all of these things because they depend on us and love us so much that they want to be with us 24/7. It's a great thing...just not in the way I expected.

What I've realized as a husband and father is that my family depends on me. The decisions I make matter not only to me, but to them as well. With this in mind a lot of times I try to make the safe decisions. The decisions that will make life most comfortable for all us. After all, my family is reliant on me.

Something changed recently.

I was reading Mark 10 (I love the Gospel of Mark...thank you Dr. Peace) and verses 17-31 jumped out at me for the first time as a husband and father. This passage talks about how hard it is for the rich to enter the Kingdom of God. I love this passage and I've learned a lot from it, but tonight I experienced the Living Word of God on my couch while I was waiting for Ephraim to finally fall asleep. The end of the passage talks about how anyone who gives up family, homes, riches, etc. for Jesus will "inherit 100 times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields - along with persecutions - and in the age to come eternal life."

I had to stop reading and start praying. I thought about Jesus' example of having 100's of homes (everyone he came into contact with invited him over to eat and rest), yet had nowhere to lay his head. This is not a health and wealth message. This is a give up everything and watch God come through message.

I told God that I want to give up everything for Him. That I want to inherit 100 times as much in this age. That I want to be persecuted for Him. That I want eternal life.

I started to look around my house and think that I want to give it all up for Him.

Then I quickly thought, "I can't. I have a family to take care of. This is a single guy's prayer. I can't put my family through that at this point in my life. I have to be the leader."

Some of you already see where this is going. It took me a moment before it was clear...

I am the leader of this family. And I need to set the right example for this family. And the right example is to give up everything for Jesus. To lay down anything and everything that we have for Him. To follow him above everything else. And if that means that we don't have the easiest life, that we don't get to get comfortable, that we don't have much, then that's exactly what I should be doing as a husband and as a father.