I don't blog very much...

Life is busy. It's crazy how quickly things get away from you...or maybe just me. I recently quit working at GateWay and started working at Awaken and the Red Cross, and it has been a crazy transition. It's really good. I mean really good, but it has been all-consuming. You see, it's not just starting 2 new jobs, it's trying to work two jobs and finish up all of our training and paperwork for our next adoption.

Yes, our next adoption.

We also just got a dog just in case we didn't have enough on our plate. So I will write more, but not now. Later. I just want to relax and not think. I have to work in the morning. I got these ideas just burning through my skull. And you will hear them. But not now.

Later.

1 Thousand "Thank You's"

The revolution of thanks is ending on this one for me...not in life, but merely for this blog account. This seems to me to be the most unlikely of places to discover a reason for gratitude, but nonetheless, here it is.

I just read an excerpt from a book called, The Secrets We Keep, by John Eckeberger and I couldn't finish it. It's a book about the sexual abuse that Eckeberger experienced as a kid and it goes into some very detailed descriptions.

It was too much.

I couldn't handle it. I sat at my computer with tears streaming down my cheeks at the thought of such unimageinable evil in this world. I wanted to reach out to Eckeberger. I wanted to reach out to the man who was the source of this pain and hurt. But there was nothing that I could do. I was left with reading about the loss and hurt that had happened and I couldn't even do that. I wanted to read what he had written. I wanted to support him by hearing the words that he had poured into, but I couldn't do it. I had to skip ahead, past the hurt, to the end of the first chapter. I wanted to see if there was a redeeming ending to the horrific accounts that were just expressed on the pages.

There were none.

Obviously, being the first chapter, my hopes were far too high for what had been written. I read the excerpt on Eckeberger's blog, which shares the name of his book and allows for comments, feedback, etc. from readers. The very first comment on this chapter from his book gave me what I did not expect...

Hope.

Speaking of similar abuse in his family, the comment said, "...those secrets have been a source of pain, suffering, and the brink of destruction...the secrets, no long secrets, have also opened the door to Jesus' healing power, forgiveness, and most of all unending grace..."

I'm grateful that Eckeberger has opened the door to release the foothold that the enemy has held for far too long. That he is willing to share his hurt and healing with the world in order to allow others to do the same. To provide a place of release. A place of healing. A place of hope. A place where people can allow God to hold us close in the midst of our hurt.

Thanks

God provides healing, forgiveness, and grace in the gravest of circumstances. It's beyond my understanding. I don't know how to deal with this kind of tragedy in the world, but I'm grateful that God does. That He is holds us close.

1000 thanks!

Okay, surprisingly Thanksgiving put a temporary stop to writing my thanks. It amazes me at times how something that is supposed to make you do one thing creates so much work and busyness that it pushes you toward the complete opposite edge. So I'm going to write one thing down today that really hit me over Thanksgiving to be thankful for...

Ephraim

I was overwhelmed to have my boy with us this year. It was a little taste of Hell not having him in our arms last year, and I cannot convey the kind of gratitude that is in my heart to have him near right now. I truly feel the gratitude toward God that I believe I'm supposed to have all the time...a gratitude that is so deep that it's beyond my abilities to express.

A Thousand Thanks...

Okay, so 1000 thanks was going to take longer to post at the rate that we were going than an elderly man changing trying to remove his undershirt (if you haven't seen this, just picture it...you'll know what I'm talking about). The whole point was to make Laurel and I more grateful, but taking that much time wasn't really making it happen, so there has been a change. We've decided to each write down 100 things we are thankful for each week until we get to 1000. It's a lot more work, but it's forcing us to notice things that have previously gone unnoticed because we have created this arduous task in life of focusing on the future rather than the present.

The downside: you will not read all 1000 things we are thankful for.

The upside: you will not read all 1000 things we are thankful for.

Join us. Write your thanks. Here are a few highlights from my list this week:

I woke up this morning.

It's amazing how often I take for granted the simple fact that God has given me another day.

It truly is a gift.

Ephraim saying, "Daddy"

He's always called me "Dadda", but out of the nowhere my rambunctious little boy started saying, "Daddy." It made me teary-eyed.

Watching "Community" and

eating popcorn with Laurel

It was amazing!

A Thousand Thanks...

Okay, my wife is much more ambitious about this than I am...but that goes right along with her personality...and mine. She already gave thanks for a few things that I was going to write down today, so I won't repeat it (check out her blog for the others: chrisandlaurel.blogspot.com).

Seventeen

Thank God that I made it to the gas station this morning without having to push my Bronco down the street.

Eighteen

And, yes, Laurel said this one, but I am too thankful not to mention it too. I am so thankful that our son is finally starting to sleep through the night. I was literally going insane from lack of sleep.

A Thousand Thanks...

My wife, Laurel, has this way of inspiring me to live life differently. She'll start a conversation with me out of the blue with some new way in which she understands life or how she longs to begin a new way of thinking. She'll stress over the way her life has been and develop a craving to stop merely existing and start truly living. I live a little differently. If I come to a new conclusion about life, I typically get excited about the new thought and move on. Laurel, on the other hand, takes action. She feels compelled to change not only her way of thinking, but her way of doing.

This is the start of a new way of doing...

She was telling me how she has the desire to live a life of gratitude. She said that she wants to notice all of the seemingly insignificant things that happen all around us everyday. So we put our heads together and came up with a solution. We will work back and forth between our blogs to come up with "A Thousand Thanks". If you see missing numbers on my blog, you need to look at Laurel's (chrisandlaurel.blogspot.com). Hopefully we can all start making lists and see the things that are going well in our lives instead of focusing on the negatives. Maybe we can learn to be thankful in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:18). What would life look like if we did that?

A Thousand Thanks...

1. Jesus


2. Laurel


3. Ephraim


4. Family


5. Friends

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Laurel and I were just talking this last week about the difficulties and sacrifices that we make because I'm a pastor. The biggest thing that I brought up was that we are really sacrificing financially...if you aren't aware of it, pastors don't make a lot of money, so we don't have a lot of money.

We went and watched Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps later that day and at first my suspicions of our being financially challenged were quickly confirmed by the film. I started to realize more and more that we forgo the majority our fiscal potential and I was feeling a little envious of the possessions that others are able to obtain.

What was amazing was that as the movie continued, I began to feel an oppression over me. The movie really wasn't that dark (I honestly expected it to be much more so considering it is an Oliver Stone flick). Yet, I could not shake this oppressive sensation.

Just before the credits began to roll, I had an epiphany...Jesus is right: the desire for wealth leads to destruction (1 Tim. 6:9 paraphrased). We quote all too often that "the love of money is the root of all evil," but the verse before it says that if you want to get rich, it leads to destruction.

My epiphany: I'm not sacrificing at all as a pastor. The real sacrifice is to give up the spiritual freedom and blessings of God in order to want money...to want to get rich.

The reality is that there is no freedom greater than to be totally dependent on God...when you can do nothing about your situation. It sounds moronic to say it out loud, but it's true. When I'm not in control and God is, I can let go. I can have freedom that money will never provide. I guess Oliver Stone was pretty right on when he subtitled the film, Money Never Sleeps. It makes me not want money. I really like to sleep.